Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Extra Fancy

Squash here!  Get your squash here!  Extra fancy squash for sale!

"Who ever heard of 'extra fancy' squash!?!!  LOL!!!  'Oohh, well, only EXTRA fancy squash for MOI, thankyouverymuch! Now come along it's time for tea!  Ho-ho, I say, I quite love those dangly-bits of the exxxxtra fahncy variety!!' What are you even TALKING ABOUT, oh my god!!"  I exclaimed inside my head.

So I did some hard research (Googled it) before I started shooting my mouth off, and it's a good thing, because it turns out the US government actually has a "fancy" classification for produce.  BUT NOT FOR SUMMER SQUASH.  For nectarines?  You bet.  Carrots?  Nope.  Okra, strawberries, onions?  No, no and no.  How about Apples?  Totally.  An apple can totally be fancy.  Let those MFers eat cake.  But summer squash?  Guys, summer squash can only get one of two grades:

  • 51.4051 U.S. No. 1.
  • 51.4052 U.S. No. 2.

And there is nothing fancy about that.