Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I Don't Wanna Die!

The new Old Navy ads are out for summer 2011.

At first I thought, "Ha, balls.  Those ladies are getting tea-bagged hard.  Heh." 

But then I thought about it and realized, "They're gonna die."

They are going to die in there!!!

Remember trying to get your footing in the Chuck E. Cheese two feet deep ball pit?  Shit was hard. 

These ladies are NOT getting outta there alive:


Tagline says, "Put on your happy life."

More like, "Put on your DEAD life," Old Navy!!!!!

But let's take a look at this issue seriously for a minute.  Could someone ACTUALLY be crushed by balls?

Optical illusion: his balls are really crushing that guy's leg.
Below calculations are 100% accurate.  (Note: calculations may not be accurate)

Wikipedia says the average sized private pool is 12ft (144in.) by 24ft (288in.).

Toys 'R' Us says a package of 250 play balls is 25.5 x 14.2 x 11.7, and 5.6 pounds.

OK, so I admit couldn't remember how to calculate volume so I found a website for that too.

(L x W x H = VOLUME, btw)

Assuming the pool is 6 feet deep, that means its dimension are this: 144l x 288w x 72h.

So...

POOL VOLUME = 2,985,984 inches
÷
BALL VOLUME = 4,236.57 inches
=
704.811675

So that means there are roughly 705 sacks of 250-count balls needed to fill a whole pool. 
At 5.6 pounds per 250-count package, that means the total ball weight is...

3946.94538 lbs.

THAT'S SOME HEAVY BALLS!!!!

 Plus, there is still this to think about: