Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Cinnamon Toasters

Today I was eating my generic-cereal-from-a-bag and I thought, "Man these Cinnamon Toasters are SO good! How can Malt-O-Meal make such a fine product and sell it for only $1.99!?" Seriously, they're doing god's work. I mean, how can they make a product SO tasty and keep their prices SO reasonable!? It blows my mind. All I can say is this: do yourself a favor, grab some Cinnamon Toasters, a gallon of milk, and enjoy America's bounty.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Face reading, $5

Went to a psychic last night for a $5 "character-reading" special: "I'm sensing a lot of doctors around you. There are definitely blood tests in your future. Have you had any abortions recently? Also, in 2011 you will finally find true love."

Thanks, face-reading psychic!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Mike O'Connell is stealing my thoughts

Have you ever walked down the street and looked at an Asian baby and thought, "God, that's cute!" And then later, seeing another one, said, "I WANT IT!" And later maybe, say, while riding the D train, gawked at an Asian baby/toddler/child for SO LONG their parents started to get a defensive/protective/wary look on their faces?

Yeah, well, so has Mike O'Connell apparently.



When I saw this video I figured he was either stealing my thoughts or making fun of me. Granted, we've never met, but I often assume people on television can see into my soul.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Things that are funny*

1. Weekend at Bernie's jokes

* Part one of an ongoing series. Well, more of a list, really.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Tuesday

Yesterday I had a day off and was at my most Liz Lemon-y. To wit:

Co-worker (this morning): What did you do yesterday?

Me: Went to the dentist to get fitted for a mouth guard, went home and ate a brick of cheese.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Fat Camp: Day 1

In an attempt to make losing weight more "fun," I'm going to pretend I'm going to an hilarious 80s teen comedy-style fat camp. I can't wait for the dance with boys' camp across the lake!

In conclusion, the first day at fat camp went something like this:

Step 1: Highlight all the swimming, pilates, and "aquacize!" classes on my photocopied schedule from the Y.

Step 2: Say fuck it and eat some braised short ribs.

In other words, fat camp is not going well. On the upside, I'm thinking of entering Zeigler's Apple Cider Recipe Contest!